Author Archives: StephenS

Hello… I’m Stephen. I live in Baltimore, Maryland, USA with The Great Spousal Unit, Maureen. I’ve been living with Type 1 Diabetes since January 1991. I’ve been a pump user since April 2010, and I’m currently wearing the Animas Vibe pump. Also wearing the Dexcom G5 continuous glucose monitor.

I found the Diabetes Online Community in the summer/fall of 2011, and that discovery has changed my life. I started this blog in April 2012, and since then, my diabetes advocacy has continued to grow. Among other achievements, I’ve attended and spoken up at FDA workshops and participated in clinical trials.

I’ve been thrilled to serve as a facilitator for the Diabetes UnConference. And I’ve been honored to volunteer for Diabetes Patient Advocacy Coalition. You should Google both of those.

I’m currently serving as a member of the State of Maryland’s Advisory Council on Health and Wellness, where I am co-chair of the Diabetes committee. In addition, I’m part of the 2018 Reader Panel at Diabetes Forecast magazine.

I’m always searching for the perfect balance between the highs and lows of my blood glucose level and my life… always searching for the Happy Medium.

Anything you’d like to share? Please let me know… I’d love to hear from you.

Dude, where’s my motivation?

June 18, 2015 – 9:08 am

I’ve got to tell you… I really hated writing this. I’m nervous about publishing this. I don’t enjoy thinking about this or talking about this.

I just have no motivation to accomplish anything related to diabetes right now.

Actually, that’s not true. I have had the motivation to do a number of things, but every time I get ready to do them, I just give up. I think to myself, “Well, maybe this isn’t a good idea, I don’t know if I should do this, maybe I should just think about doing this another time”. Or maybe never.

That’s not like me, generally. I’m more the guy who thinks, “So what? If I want to do something, I should just do it, hopefully I’ll help someone, and I can enjoy it as long as it lasts”. It’s the difference between things being fun, and things being competitive. I don’t do competitive anymore. I don’t like myself when I’m competitive, and I don’t usually do my best then either. When things are fun, I look forward to them, obviously, and yes, I seem to do my best work. Because it doesn’t seem like work. It’s just fun. And I feel a sense of purpose in what I’m doing, like there’s a greater meaning.

But it’s more than that. It’s really more a feeling that I am one step behind the curve, so to speak. Like those dreams where you’re running, but no matter how fast you run, you can’t run fast enough. I hate that feeling.

At the same time, my BGs are on the roller coaster more than they are off. My weight is at a very (for me, anyway) uncomfortable number. And as bad as it sounds, I’m really not interested in working to iron out the wrinkles in my diabetes at this point in time.

I don’t want to confuse lack of motivation, or lack of competitiveness, or a feeling of being behind the curve, with a diminished sense of advocacy. I’ll still fight for my rights as a Person With Diabetes, and for everyone living with diabetes, regardless of my state of mind. There is no time to lose. But there are some things I’ve started and stopped lately, and though they were never even given a chance to be failures, they still feel like failures. That’s bad medicine. It’s reflected in my BGs, how I look, and how I feel about literally everything.

Add to that a work schedule that has absolutely blown up over the past few months and promises to stay that way for the remainder of the year, and, oh yeah, knee surgery and the lack of chances to work out for a few months. I could really use a couple of days off, but nothing is on the horizon. And those workout-high endorphans, well… sometimes they’re just the right medicine. But that won’t be part of my regular routine for some time yet.

It feels utterly ridiculous to be whining about all of this right now. I’m not dealing with anything that anyone else doesn’t deal with, probably more often than I do. When it comes to having to live with diabetes, I’m one of the lucky few who has many options at his disposal to treat, get healthy, and keep on going. I’m just really tired right now, mentally more than physically, and being tired makes me feel less motivated to stay healthy, get stronger, and look for new stories to tell.

Ultimately, I need to downshift into suck-it-up mode and plow through. This is one of those times when I have to remind myself that I’m not doing great, but where would I be if I didn’t try at all?

Perspective: my problems are not really problems. They sure as hell don’t feel like opportunities right now, either. But, things usually go in cycles, and this is likely just a temporary bad cycle. Truly, things could be much worse.

I don’t have any predictions, promises, or insights to share today. I only have my continuing dedication to a better life for everyone living with and affected by this disease. However that happens, whenever that happens, I hope to contribute in any way I can. I want to help, and I want to do it with a sense of empowerment and a joy for life. I want it to be fun again.

Because, why not?
 
 
 

Posted in Out Of the Box | Tagged , , | Comments (10)

Thank you for your support.

June 16, 2015 – 11:10 am

It’s that time of year again… the time when riders are out on their two wheeled vehicles, getting ready for the ride of a lifetime. Or lifetimes. Yours and mine.

These riders are training for the JDRF Ride to Cure Diabetes, which is held in several locations throughout the year. Today, I’d like to feature five riders, most of whom you probably know already, especially since four are also diabetes bloggers.

A rider needs to raise at least $2,000 to be allowed to join one of these rides. That’s the kind of money I can never even hope to raise, so the least I can do is support the riders who can (or who are close). I hope you’ll click on the links to their pages and help support their rides. The money they’re raising will go toward research to help make a future with less, and then hopefully no, Type 1 Diabetes. Here they are, in no particular order.
 
 
– Our first rider does not write a blog. But he has been featured on other blogs, including this one back in February 2014.

Bob Parant will be riding in Burlington, Vermont again on July 25. Bob’s a 43 year veteran of living with Type 1, and he never lets it get him down. Read his inspiring story here. And:

Support Bob’s Burlington, Vermont ride
 
 
– Moira McCarthy Stanford writes a compelling blog at Despite Diabetes, chronicling her life as the mother of a young woman living with Type 1 Diabetes. She’s been a tireless advocate for a long time, and three years ago, she participated in her first Ride to Cure Diabetes. This year, she’s participating in two rides—LaCrosse, Wisconsin on August 15, and Death Valley on October 17.

The best part for Moira will be in August, when her daughter Lauren will join her for the first time. Their stories are amazing, and you can help them both get to their destinations by supporting their rides. Here are the links:

Support Moira’s LaCrosse, Wisconsin ride
Support Moira’s Death Valley ride

Support Lauren’s LaCrosse, Wisconsin ride
 
 
– Jeff Mather is a beast of an athlete. He writes a very interesting blog at Jeff Mather’s Dispatches, and right now, he’s diligently working on training for a complete ironman triathlon: 2.3 mile swim, 110 mile bike, and a full marathon. All in the same day. All with Type 1 Diabetes along for the ride. He’ll be taking a break from his training (who takes a break from training with a 100 mile bike ride?) on July 25, when he’ll be in Burlington, Vermont for his latest JDRF ride, one of several for him in the past decade.

Support Jeff’s Burlington, Vermont ride
 
 
Jeff will probably spend part of his time in Vermont riding alongside Victoria Cumbow. Victoria writes at her self-titled blog about life with Type 1, her life as a new homeowner and resident of Nashville, Tennessee, and her absolute love of transportation on board her bicycle. Her first JDRF ride was two years ago in Death Valley, and she completed the Nashville ride a year ago. This time, she’ll be in Vermont, after already completing a sprint triathlon and a half marathon this year. Just… wow.

Support Victoria’s Burlington, Vermont ride
 
 
Last, but certainly not least, is Alecia Wesner, writer at SurfaceFine. In years past, she’s been a top fundraiser for JDRF walks in New York, where she lives and works. This year, she’s decided to give up sneakers for bike shoes, and head to Vermont for her first 100 mile ride. When I read what she writes about it, I think she may be unsure if she’ll make it. Regardless of what she says though, I think she’ll do great. And she’s bringing her sister along for the ride too!

Support Alecia’s Burlington, Vermont ride

Support Paige’s Burlington, Vermont ride
 
 
I’m not sure I know what else to say except how much I appreciate what these athletes are doing to help all of us living with Type 1 Diabetes. I hope you feel the same way, and I hope you’ll either join them or donate to help them on the ride of a lifetime. Many lifetimes. Yours and Mine.
 
 
 

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Post-op.

June 12, 2015 – 9:09 am

My arthroscopic knee surgery is complete. I’ve got a few more days of slowly getting used to using it again, and another couple of months of geting it stronger and back to normal.
image

I have to admit to having had a little fear over being put under for the operation. It had been nearly 50 years since the last time I was under general anesthesia (1966– I was four years old– can you believe it?). But it was relatively simple. One minute I was awake, and the next I woke up in recovery. And fortunately, no nausea like a few people had warned me about.

The thing I was most proud of was the fact that I fought for, and won, the right to keep my insulin pump on through everything. In coordination with my endocrinologist, we agreed to do a fifteen percent reduction in my basal rate after midnight. The surgery took place around 9:30 a.m.

I got my endocrinologist to write an okay for me to keep everything running during surgery, and she also included all my basal settings, insulin-to-carb ratio and correction factor numbers, and sent it to the orthopedist. In addition, I gave the staff detailed instructions I wrote up (photos included) on suspending and restarting my pump, and disconnecting my pump, should that have been necessary. They probably thought I was nuts, but better to leave nothing to chance while you’re unconscious.

I should also mention that I spent some time cleaning up my pump the night before, since I knew I was going into a sterile environment. That wasn’t a requirement, but I thought it would be a respectful thing to do.

We did glucose checks before and after (the procedure was only half an hour start to finish). I was 181 mg/dL pre-op, even though I had been fasting since about 10:30 the night before (hello, nerves). I was 151 mg/dL post-op.

I was told I had a significant tear of my interior meniscus, and that got fixed. The doctor also told me I had some arthritis in my knee, and he cleaned that out. I don’t know much about arthritis, so I don’t know if that makes sense.

At any rate, like I said, I’ve got to work on getting steady on my feet enough to get back to work on Monday. After that, I need to get everything stronger little by little, every day. In a couple of months, I hope to get back to riding my bike and swimming some (as a workout, as opposed to just soaking).

Now that it’s over, I’m eager to get this chapter behind me as soon as possible, and get back to feeling good, and being as healthy as possible.

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Mid-Season Garden Update.

June 10, 2015 – 9:15 am

To say I’ve been insanely busy these last few months is quite an understatement. Right now, it’s work… all day meetings, but don’t forget to get the rest of the work done, rinse, repeat.

I’m not really complaining. Every so often in a job like mine, you have a year when a lot of things happen, and you’re depended on to give the extra measure of devotion for the good of the team. This is one of those years. It happens.

All this extra work makes it even nicer when I can come home and eat out of my garden. Here’s a mid-season update:
Garden

The big thing you notice here is the yellow squash plant, which I should never have planted there. They get pretty big after a while (like “Feed me, Seymour” big), and if they can, they’ll steal sunlight from any other plants in the area, like my tomatoes and my peppers. So I have to trim off a leaf or two now and then to make some space.

The bad news is that there seems to be evidence of some creature (squirrels, probably) eating the flowers (which come just before the squash), which is what helped me maintain a healthy plant that bore absolutely no squash last year.

The good news is that I have a couple of squash that have survived anyway.
GardenSquash

But, more bad news: In Monday night’s thunderstorm for the ages, my red leaf lettuce plants got pelted and fell over. This looks like the beginning of the end for these guys, which is sad because I’ve been eating salads nearly every day for over a month. I mean, these guys were the gift that keeps on giving. We’ve already eaten the romaine… there are just a few secondary shoots that have grown back, and they’ll make good salad. In addition to that, most of the radicchio (to the right of the romaine) has done very well.
GardenLettuce

Other than that, it looks like my pepper plants are surviving and thriving, and two of my three tomato plants are going gangbusters. I don’t know what happened to the third one, but it just stopped growing up a few weeks ago. I’m still holding out hope, but not much.

Oh, and I almost forgot: I’ve managed to get a few strawberries this year from a secondary garden. Most of them are smaller than what you’ll find in the grocery store, but they are so amazingly good! I can’t find enough adjectives to describe how mouthwateringly fresh they are.
GardenStr
 
 
So that’s what’s happening in the garden so far this year. Things aren’t perfect (like diabetes, gardening rarely is), but there’s still a lot to look forward to.

How ‘bout your summer? What are you up to, and what are you looking forward to?
 
 
 

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