Tag Archives: motivation

What’s my Motivation?

Look, we all know diabetes can be hard. There are countless tasks we must perform to make our numbers look good at endo appointment time. Still more to do at or after endo appointment time.
Do I really have to list them here? Okay, I’ll list some of them:

– Check blood sugar

– If you’re an insulin user, bolus appropriately

– Stay active

– Get your eyes checked at least yearly

– Refill prescriptions and durable medical supplies

– Handle unexpected highs and lows as they occur, because they will occur, usually at an inopportune time. When is an opportune time for an unexpected high or low?

– Deal with insurance claims and denials and FSA or HSA reimbursements

– Oh yeah, live our everyday lives, interacting with family and friends in a manner that suggests that we have all of this shit together allll the time
Let’s think of this in an either/or sort of way: If you don’t have diabetes as a part of your life, you don’t have to be responsible for any of the above. If you do, you have the above as a nice starter list, but it’s not all you’ll have to do.

So as you go through your life, taking care of all of these things, day after day, every day, I think it’s understandable if you stop and wonder: What’s my motivation for doing this if I’m only going to have to keep doing it forever?

I mean, there’s the whole “we do it to stay alive” thing, which is the most important, and should never be overlooked. But beyond that, I think it’s a legitimate question. For me, there have been days when the repetitiveness of it all has become either all-consuming or overwhelming.

What do you do to stay motivated? What helps you get through those difficult days?

Often, I find myself fighting back the urge to give it any consideration at all, and I just plow ahead. That can be a recipe for disaster… read any number of articles on the link between diabetes and depression to see what I’m talking about.

But not thinking about it too much helps me deal with things when I need to, and not feel guilty about things when I let them slide a bit. In that way, this strategy may be more helpful than hurtful.

In the end though, I think what motivates you is what motivates you… whether it’s so you can feel better, so you can live longer, so you can help your loved one live their best life, so you can get a great big Grande Latte once you finish everything on your to-do list.

Your reason is the right reason for being motivated and staying motivated. We are too important, all of us, to forget that. Your worth is your motivation. That’s enough of a motivator all by itself.

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: Motivational Symbols.

Lately, because of everything that’s been going on in the rest of my life, diabetes seems to have taken a back seat. Or, more of a back seat compared to how active I’ve been over the past few years. I’ve been lamenting that for a while, for two reasons: One, I’ve found that I have a passion for diabetes advocacy; and Two, I feel like I haven’t been paying enough attention to my own health lately.

So when I was cleaning up around the house this weekend and I came across this bracelet, I decided to give it another fling. It says: ACT ON DIABETES.NOW.
For me, it means Acting On Diabetes in two directions: Outward, and Internally too. Maybe hanging this on my wrist for a few weeks will get me refocused on what I do well, and most of all, what is important. I’m not unhappy with me… I’m just looking to be a little more energetic when it comes to taking care of myself, and helping others where I can.

If a blue bracelet can help me do that, then okay. I’m all for motivational symbols. What motivates you?

Dude, where’s my motivation?

I’ve got to tell you… I really hated writing this. I’m nervous about publishing this. I don’t enjoy thinking about this or talking about this.

I just have no motivation to accomplish anything related to diabetes right now.

Actually, that’s not true. I have had the motivation to do a number of things, but every time I get ready to do them, I just give up. I think to myself, “Well, maybe this isn’t a good idea, I don’t know if I should do this, maybe I should just think about doing this another time”. Or maybe never.

That’s not like me, generally. I’m more the guy who thinks, “So what? If I want to do something, I should just do it, hopefully I’ll help someone, and I can enjoy it as long as it lasts”. It’s the difference between things being fun, and things being competitive. I don’t do competitive anymore. I don’t like myself when I’m competitive, and I don’t usually do my best then either. When things are fun, I look forward to them, obviously, and yes, I seem to do my best work. Because it doesn’t seem like work. It’s just fun. And I feel a sense of purpose in what I’m doing, like there’s a greater meaning.

But it’s more than that. It’s really more a feeling that I am one step behind the curve, so to speak. Like those dreams where you’re running, but no matter how fast you run, you can’t run fast enough. I hate that feeling.

At the same time, my BGs are on the roller coaster more than they are off. My weight is at a very (for me, anyway) uncomfortable number. And as bad as it sounds, I’m really not interested in working to iron out the wrinkles in my diabetes at this point in time.

I don’t want to confuse lack of motivation, or lack of competitiveness, or a feeling of being behind the curve, with a diminished sense of advocacy. I’ll still fight for my rights as a Person With Diabetes, and for everyone living with diabetes, regardless of my state of mind. There is no time to lose. But there are some things I’ve started and stopped lately, and though they were never even given a chance to be failures, they still feel like failures. That’s bad medicine. It’s reflected in my BGs, how I look, and how I feel about literally everything.

Add to that a work schedule that has absolutely blown up over the past few months and promises to stay that way for the remainder of the year, and, oh yeah, knee surgery and the lack of chances to work out for a few months. I could really use a couple of days off, but nothing is on the horizon. And those workout-high endorphans, well… sometimes they’re just the right medicine. But that won’t be part of my regular routine for some time yet.

It feels utterly ridiculous to be whining about all of this right now. I’m not dealing with anything that anyone else doesn’t deal with, probably more often than I do. When it comes to having to live with diabetes, I’m one of the lucky few who has many options at his disposal to treat, get healthy, and keep on going. I’m just really tired right now, mentally more than physically, and being tired makes me feel less motivated to stay healthy, get stronger, and look for new stories to tell.

Ultimately, I need to downshift into suck-it-up mode and plow through. This is one of those times when I have to remind myself that I’m not doing great, but where would I be if I didn’t try at all?

Perspective: my problems are not really problems. They sure as hell don’t feel like opportunities right now, either. But, things usually go in cycles, and this is likely just a temporary bad cycle. Truly, things could be much worse.

I don’t have any predictions, promises, or insights to share today. I only have my continuing dedication to a better life for everyone living with and affected by this disease. However that happens, whenever that happens, I hope to contribute in any way I can. I want to help, and I want to do it with a sense of empowerment and a joy for life. I want it to be fun again.

Because, why not?

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