Category Archives: Diabetes

Dog Days of Summer.

July 17, 2012 – 6:22 am

I’ve been looking back at my posts in the last few weeks, and it seems that since Diabetes Blog Week the posts have been less frequent. Writers block? Not likely. Not in this kind of forum anyway. I mean, who among us doesn’t like to talk about themselves?

More likely, the culprit is the fact that summer is the busiest time of year for me.

Certainly work is busiest during the summer. It’s the busiest time of year in the group I work in. So much so that getting time off in June, July, or August is nearly impossible. And since the company I work for has downsized in the past couple of years, they really are relying on me this year. And my company has a strict no-posting-to-social-media-of-any-kind-during-the-workday policy. That already limits the amount of time I can spend writing and commenting. Add in extra tasks and staying late to meet deadlines, and my blog time is limited even more.

Another reason is the athletic events that I enter each year. Many of those are during the summer, and that means extra time at the gym. Good for my body, but it doesn’t add to the blogosphere.

Also (and this is the really good part), I was in a class the last few weeks. It’s one of the classes held by the theater that Maureen and I subscribe to each year. It’s an Improv class, taught by one of the theater’s resident actors, and he’s one of our favorites. I can’t tell you how much I stepped outside of my comfort zone in this class. When I wrote earlier about depression and whatever it was I was feeling at the end of last year/beginning of this year, this part was step two in my process of feeling better.

Know what? I really loved this class. I can’t say I’m gifted at improv, but I like the idea of trying something new, focusing on something different. And my classmates were great. Everyone was extremely supportive of everyone else in the class. The time flew by, and we couldn’t wait until the next session. Kind of like the weekly DSMA Chat.

So you can see why I’ve been so busy. Just for the record, I have no intention of giving up the writing, at least for now. Even without a blog, I would still write all the time.

Besides, I’m not nearly as busy as my fellow DOC bloggers who have kids. I have no idea how they do it. I admire them. And I’m a bit jealous too. But that’s a different subject. And I’m too busy to write about that right now.
 
 
 

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DSMA Chat. A follow up.

May 29, 2012 – 8:42 pm

So May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Last week’s DSMA chat picked up on that with a discussion about diabetes and depression. If you missed it, you should definitely go back and check it out. I’ve been ruminating on it for a while (okay, a week), and…

I can tell you that some of the things described in the chat were things that I’ve experienced. Especially in the past year.

And it scared the shit out of me.

I don’t know what really constitutes the official meaning of depression. I can only describe what I was feeling, and how I dealt with it.

At some point last year, I started to feel like I had gotten as far as I could in life… that there were no more mountains to climb, personal, career-wise, anything… even though I was still ready to climb them.

That’s a dangerous thing. Because as soon as you start thinking that you’ve accomplished everything you can accomplish, that you’re as far as you’re going to go… when someone questions anything you do, it feels like they’re trying to take away whatever you have left. And if whatever you think you have left isn’t that great (in your eyes), it really feels unfair.

That’s ridiculous, of course. But I didn’t understand that then, and it made me angry. Not commit a felony angry, just not a nice guy to be around. And after I’d act like that for a while, I’d snap back the other way and feel like the most horrible person ever because I felt like that in the first place. I mean, I felt just awful about it.

That scenario played out in my life every few days for about 4 months.

So what did I do?

First, I sat down with The Great Spousal Unit, and she was great. It’s amazing… when you get unconditional support, you don’t feel so lost anymore. Then she told me something very profound. She knew that in many ways, I had grown up a lot like my father. Similar careers, similar approaches to priorities, money, living, etc. And she had heard me speak before about how, when I was in my teens and early twenties, he would have occasional flashes of rage. This would have been when he was around my age now, maybe a little older. So at some point in the conversation, she paused and looked at me and said:

“You know… you don’t have to be just like your father”.

And I thought about it… he must have experienced many of the same feelings I had. Frustrations at work, bringing home the bacon, paying the bills, trying to find a way to reach some goals that you had set years earlier, and watching them slip away. Maybe forever. At some point, the pressure must have been tremendous. Add in a few rebellious kids (the three oldest of us became teenagers within four years of each other), and you can see it a little clearer. I’m not condoning the rage. But I’m starting to see where it came from.

Well, that was a real breakthrough for me. Then I had to move on to step two: Do something, anything different. One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that when I feel bogged down, I need to change my routine, change my focus. So I enrolled in an Improv class at a local theater here. I have no Improv or acting aspirations, I just think it sounds like fun. Fun is what I need. My class starts in a month. And on my birthday in April, I started this blog. I never thought of it as cathartic. But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t.

Third, I went back to exercise more often. I like working out, but I also like it when I have a goal to meet. This year, it’s my 150 mile weekend bike ride (in two weeks!). I’m not sure how that will turn out, but again, it’s something for me to focus on succeeding at. And it won’t be my last physical fitness goal this year.

Finally, at some point, I’ll need to go back and discuss everything with Maureen again. It’ll be an exercise where we’ll measure how far we’ve (read: I’ve) become, and we’ll see what else I need to be aware of or working on.

Hey, I don’t have all of the answers. But I know I’m in a better place today. And I also know that just like diabetes, I need to keep working at it, keep adjusting, and keep remembering that what’s in the past is a learning experience; but it’s not necessarily a road map for the future.

And the future is what counts most.

Here’s hoping your future is as bright as a sunny summer day. If it doesn’t feel that way, don’t be afraid to reach out, ask for help and possibly seek advice from a professional. If you’ve been feeling depressed or angry, don’t forget that you don’t have to be just like your past. Your future is yet to be written. And that’s a good thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Disclaimer
I have no medical training. If you consider anything written here as medical, legal, financial, or any other kind of advice, you’re out of your mind. Please speak to a learned professional before making any changes that might affect your health. Any of the original content found on this site is my property and should not be reproduced, copied, or otherwise used without the author’s expressed written consent.

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Investigations.

May 3, 2012 – 10:56 am

I’ll begin and end this post with some disclosure: None of the companies noted in this post have been charged or convicted of any wrongdoing in the current investigations.

I waited a week to write this post for two reasons. First, at this time last week, I was praising at least one of these companies for helping to make my life livable. I’m grateful for that, and I didn’t want to appear to be flip-flopping so quickly. I stand by what I said last week.

Second, I have to admit that when I first read about this, I started to get pissed. Had I written about this then, you might have seen quite a different post.

So having a week to reflect, I think that with the investigations ongoing, I just need to give the facts.

According to a report from Fortune, (part of the CNN© family), there are at least 81 public companies under investigation by the Securities and Exchange Commission or the Department of Justice, for possible violations of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.. Among other things, the Act makes bribery, to either obtain business or retain business in foreign countries, punishable in the United States. Among the 81 listed on an FCPA blog post,there are 12 companies who operate in the Medical Technology, Pharmaceuticals, Medical Specialties, or Biotechnology industries. Here’s the list:

AstraZeneca PLC
Bio-Rad Laboratories Inc.
Bristol Myers Squibb
Covidien PLC
Eli Lilly
GlaxoSmithKline
Grifols SA
Medtronic
Merck
Pfizer
Sciclone Pharmaceuticals
Zimmer Holdings

I did a little looking around online, and I found that almost all of these companies have at least a page dedicated to Corporate Citizenship or Corporate Responsibility. Some have very detailed statements of corporate responsibility. Feel free to check them out if you like.

Going forward, I will try to give the facts as they come out. I hope it’s all good news. But right now I have a skeptical eye turned toward these companies. I hope my skepticism is misguided.

Again, disclosure: None of the companies noted in this post have been charged or convicted of any wrongdoing in the current investigations.

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Superstitions.

May 1, 2012 – 11:16 am

I have another word for superstition:  habit.

Often, we get so used to doing something in a such a specific way, it seems unnatural to do it any other way.  When I was younger, I played a lot of baseball.  And then softball.  And I subscribed to every last superstition.  Don’t touch the baselines, don’t mention a streak or a no-hitter in progress or you’ll jinx it.  Take the same number of practice swings before each at-bat.  Oh, I had a superstition for everything.

Well, today I’m not a big fan of that.  In fact, I enjoy doing things differently.  I like variety.  I dig changing things up now and then.

But I do have a few habits when it comes to my life with diabetes.

Prior to my pump, I used to hold the syringe exactly the same way before each injection.  I tapped the syringe the same number of times before getting down to business, whether it was necessary or not.  And you can bet that I had my favorite injection sites, and used them more often than I probably should have.

Do I have my favorite infusion sites today?  On my sides, although I’m a side sleeper, so I have to be careful.  I also like to keep the pump clipped right in the middle at night.  At least while I’m sleeping…

I also have my favorite fingers to test on (the ring fingers).  I almost never use my index fingers.  Why?  I’m not sure I can tell you.  I think it has to do with the clunky lancet devices back in the early nineties that made my fingers feel like they were being pricked by a dull icepick, with the force of a cannon blast.  Doing that, and then using a computer mouse or holding a pen was actually painful back then.

I have a couple of pills that I take, plus a couple of vitamins each day.  And you know what?  I take them in exactly the same order every day.

Looking back on it now, I think I should change up some of those routines.  Don’t want to get into a rut.  But I also have to realize that I should do what works best for me.  Because right now, things are working pretty well.

Do you have superstitions?  Or are they habits?  Whatever they are, I say go for what works for you.  But don’t be afraid to change it up!  You might find a new habit that works just as well.

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Super Dia-heros

April 26, 2012 – 11:08 am

The world needs more Superheros!

I suppose so. But I can think of a few Superheros that I would like to retire… as soon as possible.

The Great Spousal Unit is a Superhero (Supershero?). She’s always got my back. In the middle of a road trip, or in the middle of the night, she’s always there when I have an issue. For all 21 years of this disease, she’s been a rock. I would like to give her a break. She’s earned it after all these years. I don’t want her to worry about me anymore. Without me asking.

The Live-In Niece has been terrific. I’m the first, the only, diabetic she’s ever known. Or known about. She knows nothing of hypoglycemia or ketoacidosis. But she asks a lot of questions. And she never makes me feel bad for being a pain in the ass because I had a low or I’m mad at the diabetes today. Without me asking.

Prior to the Live-In Niece was the Live-In Nephew. My Godson. Probably the relative I’m closest to. And diabetes freaks him out. But when he was confronted by something that freaked him out, he was able to help me. Without me asking.

I’ve had a couple of crappy doctors over the years. But I’ve had a couple of super ones too. That’s you, Dr. Mowry in Cincinnati, who originally diagnosed me after two doctors couldn’t be bothered to take the time; and you, Dr. Pao in Baltimore, who speaks my language and gets me thinking about adjustments to make things better, instead of always staying the same with lesser results. Thank you, thank you.

Thank you Diabetes Online Community. For the first time in I don’t know how long, I feel validated. Can’t tell you how much it meant to find out that others have the same experiences, the same hurdles, the same highs and lows. I not only feel validated… I feel more confident that I can live in this world. That I belong in this world.

Where would I be without JDRF and ADA? Your advocacy has brought us countless advances in care, support, and on, and on, and on. It’s easy to take you for granted. But these two groups are full of thousands of Superheros.

And what about the companies that have developed technology or drugs to help us continue to live a life that means something? Medtronic, Animas, Dexcom, Novo Nordisk, Aventis. That’s right.. I’m givin’ props to you, big Pharma. I’ve made it as far as I have in part thanks to you.

There are many Superheros in my diabetic life (Diaheros?) But I would like to retire all of you. I hope that soon, very soon, you can find the time to focus on someone else. Another cause. Or maybe a vacation. In the meantime, thank you sooooo much for being my Superheros.

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