Transitioning into year 29

It dawned on me over the weekend… Last week, I hit the 28th anniversary of my diabetes diagnosis. Given the fact that I’m 56, nearly 57, I’ve now lived about half of my life with this condition.

I have to be honest. I’m just too busy these days to consider the impact of another diaversary. There is too much going on in my personal and professional life to spend much time worrying, celebrating, or even contemplating what 28 years means.

Just reading that gives me the willies. But I’m working on it. I’ve been telling close friends that I’m working on unspooling my life over the next year or two.

My schedule is just wound too tight right now. It’s too full of things I don’t get joy from, and not full enough of things that make me feel good. So… unspooling is an operative word for me right now.

I don’t know what the end game of that looks like. But I’m not afraid of it either. It will probably involve transitions, and will probably involve things that I’m not involved in right now. But the focus is: more joy, less meh.

This isn’t just about diabetes advocacy. It’s about everything. I’m not spending enough time with friends and family. I’m not enjoying my time off enough. I’m not challenging myself anymore… I’m just checking off the boxes.

I think the positive thing is that I’m in a good place with my diabetes. My numbers are good. I have to choose a new insulin pump in the next nine or ten months, but I’m not too worried about that. I’ve come to grips with the everyday CGM ups and downs, and I’m okay with that too.

As a result, I think I’m starting to consider what the next phase of my life will look like. I’m not in the next phase yet, but instead of living in the moment (or even worse, living in the past), I’m actually looking forward, and I like what I see in the future.

The passage of time isn’t always bad. We learn from what we’ve experienced, and we can certainly look back and say 1) I’m glad I lived through it; and 2) I’m glad I don’t have to go through that again.

And it informs what we do going forward, hopefully in a most positive way. I like how year 29 of my diabetes is shaping up. Watch this space for more in the coming months!

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  • Rick Phillips  On February 5, 2019 at 9:46 pm

    You know I am not worried about the future either. I figure things will work out exactly how it should end up. I think as a younger man I worried so much, that there is not room for it anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

  • doubleampersand  On March 20, 2019 at 12:51 am

    Lovely diaversary message! Happy 28 Stephen!

    Liked by 1 person

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