So… I’m somewhere around three weeks until the next appointment with my endocrinologist.
My last several A1cs have been excellent for someone living with Type 1 Diabetes.
But how have I gotten there? I wonder.
Did I get there with perfect blood sugar numbers all the time?
Did I get there with lots of lows?
If I had a lot of lows, did I do more damage to my overall health than that A1c number is worth? For the record, my basal insulin delivered versus my bolus insulin delivered always turns out to be pretty much what they are supposed to be, I’m told.
But still… What if I’m using too much insulin to knock down potential highs, leaving me with extra insulin that’s just going to get stored around my midsection? Honestly, I’m really worried about that.
What if those lows are killing off brain cells, causing other issues that I haven’t imagined up until now?
What if my A1c looks good, but my highs and lows go up and down through the day like an EKG, instead of like a normal person’s pancreas works?
I mean, look… On paper, I’ve been the model student for some time.
I’m still wondering if the truth is something different altogether.