Trust but verify.

There is a dance that we do.

The dance begins when I start packing. We’re not exactly walking on eggshells; we’ve been together too long for that. It’s more that kind of thing where one person doesn’t want to think about the fact that we’ll be apart, and the other doesn’t want to admit it.

The dance continues, almost uninterrupted, until I’m safely at my destination. Then the music almost stops for a while. As long as I’m in constant communication. As plans are made for my return, the dance turns into an almost giddy jitterbug that crescendos upon my arrival at home.

Then, as the dance begins to wane, there is a little more uneasiness. An almost tacit understanding that the descriptions of my experiences are expected and welcomed, as long as it doesn’t include certain subjects.

This is how it works with us after 21 years of marriage and 24 years of living with my diabetes. Worry that something will go wrong while I’m gone, and she won’t be there to help me. Concern that I’m enjoying myself, and also taking care of myself at the same time. Crazy as it seems, sometimes I need to be reminded that my health comes first. And her knowledge that I’ve made my health a priority is a very, very close second. In that regard, the term “détente” comes to mind:

Trust but verify.

This is a dance that goes on whenever I leave, for however long I’m gone, and a little after I’m back, whether I’m just going to the office for the day or going to another continent. The dance takes several forms, and often ends in frank discussions about how both of us feel about my diabetes and how it affects our relationship and our daily lives.

Trust but verify.

The dance changes, but the dance continues. I suspect it will continue for a long time. Because as the dance continues, our lives change. Our relationship changes. My hope is that it will grow stronger, but that I will also learn more about the concerns that are part of her world and make her the partner, the cheerleader, she is.

After all, who doesn’t want to be a better dancer?

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  • Kate Cornell  On March 20, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    Liked by 1 person

  • Karen  On April 8, 2015 at 10:13 am

    Well said. Diabetes can be scary when we really stop and think about it – and traveling alone with diabetes can kick it up a notch. But we have to live our lives so we do the best we can and our partners do too. My one, not up for discussion, on conditional thing while traveling is that I always wear my CGM. Not fool proof at all, but if it eases Pete’s mind a bit, I’m glad.

    Liked by 1 person

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